Alpha

I’ve never blogged before. For all these years, I’m refrained from creating a blog simply because I did not wish to reveal myself to others, to make my thoughts known so readily and openly. So here’s to a semester of chronicling my thoughts as I make my way through these course texts and attempt to help “cultivate humanity.”

Kozol’s book is definitely an interesting place to start. I never could have imagined how big of an issue segregation in schools still is. Growing up and going to school, segregation was never an issue for me. Although I lived in a neighborhood composed mostly of blacks, the schools were far different. If anything, I wondered where all the black kids were. Outside of my household and community I rarely encountered situations where I was not part of the minority, even here in the South. The racial make-up of the schools I attended was usually about 15-18% minority population, mostly black. Funny enough, the “black schools,” as my people would say, were the ones with 15-20% black population. A school composed of 99% blacks like the ones Kozol mentions was unthinkable. 

I’m glad I got to attend a more “diverse” set of schools; I do not think attending a school with a bunch of black kids like me would have helped fostered my individual growth and view of the wider world. I got to experience black culture at home outside of school and white culture while at school. I learned the tongues of both groups and was able to adapt my language and mannerisms toward either group to suit the occasion or present company. I took AP courses and was not deprived of any opportunities given to white kids. When I read about the kids in Kozol’s book being denied these privileges, being funded significantly less than their white cohorts, it really opened my eyes. I mean, I knew it existed but not to the extent talked about in the book. A part that really struck is when Kozol quotes Professor Gary Orfield: “American public schools are now 12 years into the process of continuous resegregation. The desegregation of black students, which increased continuously from the 1950s the late 1980s, has now receded to levels not seen in three decades.” What? How can we lose progress? So it’s cool and all for black kids to drink from the same water fountains, ride the same buses, work the same jobs as their lighter counterparts, but to attend the same schools in harmony is unthinkable and being worked against? Like Kozol, I do not get it either.

When I think about these issues and anticipate the ones we will discuss in the future, I can’t help but see the inherent brokenness in the human race. We are too self-serving, too self-fulfilling to eliminate these racial disparities for good. We are products of The Fall. Yet I blame no one for the failings of the world, because I do not believe that I am any better, that all my actions are truly for the benefit of the my fellow earthlings, and I will not act as if my life is devoted to ridding the world of pressing issues of social justice. 

I do however think the way out of all the chaos involves love, not the superficial, Valentine's Day, romantic comedy type of love, but a radical, unconditional, and unfailing love that many have never seen. I think of a Martin Luther King Jr. quote, one inscribed in front of me on a poster on my wall: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” I think because of our inherent brokenness, we’ve that lost that ability to fully love our enemies and our friends, but to regain such an ability would largely end many of the problems we have today.

As I think about the documentary we watched on the first day of class, I consider what my horizons are. For a while I’ve floundered around trying to pinpoint some specific career or educational path, but I realized my intentions are much simpler than that. I merely wish to engage in some avenue of life or area of work where I can build relationships with people and simply show them love. And truthfully, I can do that anywhere. No, I can’t end segregation in schools. I can’t ensure the rights of my fellow black people are protected every day. But if I can somehow somewhere alleviate the suffering caused by such things and make an impact in someone’s life through a ministry of love, that is where I want to be. Working with the IHAD kids seems like a great start, and I truly I hope I can make a positive impact in their lives. I prize above everything else in my life my relationship with God, and through this relationship alone do I have the capacity and the heart to spend my life showing love to others. I view my life from the perspective of the question, “If I am what is wrong with the world, how I can fix it?” So I start with myself, because if my intentions, heart, and motivations are not properly calibrated, that is, if they are steeped in hatred, vengeance, and prejudice, I will do no good. Therefore, I cultivate my heart for love and prepare to show the world the love I have experienced through a relationship with an omnipotent and infinitely loving God.

That’s right; I believe love will change the world.